The Theodore Roosevelt Scented Candle will add a touch of danger and excitement to your life. Danger, because leaving a lit candle unattended is dangerous. And excitement, because of the potential excitement of escaping from a burning house.

We’ll be honest: this candle (probably) can’t bust trusts, capture an enemy position, or pull off the pince-nez-and-huge-mustache look. But it can fill your room with the crisp scent of sitting around a high plains campfire, huddled against the cold in a buckskin jacket. Or maybe a pair of leather chaps. Something leather, anyway.

And if the manly scent of woodsmoke and leather isn’t enough to get you reaching for your wallet, this candle can also test your mettle. Unless something goes horribly wrong in our label-printing process, each candle label will include a quiz allowing you, or perhaps your confused houseguests, to test whether you are as tough as Teddy Roosevelt.

SPOILER: You are not as tough as Teddy Roosevelt. Neither are your houseguests, unless one of your houseguests happens to be Teddy Roosevelt. In which case, you really need to install a stronger deadbolt. (Not because it will be able to keep Teddy Roosevelt out, but because Teddy Roosevelt appreciates a challenge.)

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